Pansy-ass, huh?! Canít solve a text adventure, huh?! Need my help?

Then you owe me, Omega, author of this game, $1,000 for each step. That totals to $1,000,000, meaning that you owe me a lot of money AND that I canít count. MWAAHAAHAAHAAA.

I kid. I kid. Hereís a walkthrough. Any steps that make you receive points has the point value in parentheses at the end. There are a total of 100 points.

  1. You start in Poppetís bedroom. Open the dresser and take the poetry book. (5)
  2. Read the poetry book.
  3. Take the photograph.
  4. Check it. (2)
  5. Take the bookbag. If your hands start to get too full, you can start shoving stuff inside of it, it has unlimited room. Aaah, so THATíS how Poppet carries stuff everywhere with him.
  6. Go east.
  7. Take the perfume.
  8. Wear it. (3)
  9. Look in the mirror if you want to see what you look like. Dalix, you sexy bitch!
  10. You can take a bath or play with the sink if youíd like.
  11. Well, now itís time to work on that gift, huh? If you know the series, you know Poppet and what heíd like. If you donít, the photo will give you a clue.
  12. Get dressed. It doesnít matter which outfit you wear, but youíll want to put on one. Youíre wearing nightclothes so youíre not nude, but you WANT to wear something to get the full score. Both outfits are in the cabinet in the bedroom.(10)
  13. Okay, weíre dressed, Dalix. Go south.
  14. Take the box on the coffee table.
  15. Youíll need to open it. Itís locked... and thereís no key. So what do you do? THROW IT, BABY! Throw that bitch at the wall, man! (5)
  16. Take the knife from the now open box. (5)
  17. Thirty score now.
  18. Go south.
  19. Go southeast twice.
  20. Take the heart-shaped card. (10)
  21. Go east.
  22. Take the bolline. (10)
  23. Fifty now.
  24. Well, now that you have the bolline in hand, the cashier wonít let you leave. So youíll have to do something about it.
  25. Go north.
  26. Take the morning star. (5)
  27. Take the bowie knife. (5)
  28. Attack the cashier with the bloody knife. (5)
  29. Attack the cashier with the bloody knife again. (5)
  30. Take the leather water skin- youíll fill it full of blood instantly. (5)
  31. Take the key.
  32. Seventy-five now. I think youíre done with presents for Poppet now, so go home.
  33. If you canít figure out how, I pity you.
  34. Alright, south, west, northwest, northwest, north.
  35. Poppetís home! Give him the presents, baby- the morning star, the blood, the bolline, the card, and the bowie knife. Each is worth one point. (5)
  36. Now talk.
  37. Eighty now. Ooh- heís gonna take a shower! Follow him, you dirty boy.
  38. North, east. Enter the tub with him.
  39. Talk to him- the conversations are different here.
  40. Give him a hug. (5)
  41. Do it again if you want, thereís a different reaction.
  42. Give him a kiss. (5)
  43. Kiss him again if you want, different reaction.
  44. Wash his back and hair, if you want.
  45. Now- if you were Dalix, what would you do now? Yes, thatís right. (10)
  46. Awww. That was cute, wasnít it? You win! Yaaaaay!

Ways to screw yourself over:

Thereís only one. Go into the store without the bloody knife.

Pointless things to do:

  1. Put on makeup.
  2. Take the various soaps.
  3. Get yourself some vodka. Dalix loves his vodka.
  4. Wash up Poppetís back and hair.
  5. Get some candy at the candy store- take all you want, she doesnít mind.
  6. Shoplift at the boutique.
  7. Give cotton candy rock candy to Poppet.
  8. Eat candy.

And there you go. If youíre offend by the ending, thatís too fucking bad. If you have a problem with two people who love each other making love, then youíre a very sad person.

-Omega